Grief to Glory

While millions of people celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ today, I want to take a moment to sit in the tension that comes before experiencing/witnessing the miraculous.  To bear witness to and honor the weight/toll of the grief that occurs in the in-between. In the part of your journey when you’re ready for the pain to not be so raw, to no longer be worn down by the disappointment, fear, or anger, and when you stop wishing for situations or yourself to be like it used to be.  For most of us, the loss we experienced on Friday won’t be resolved by Sunday and too often we’re not honest about how long it takes to get to Sunday and what it cost us to make it to Sunday. My most recent journey to Sunday, because by virtue of being human there will be many journeys to Sunday, was a year in the making.

A year of being honest about how deeply disappointment and denial has impacted me. A year of giving myself permission to be angry. A year of betrayal. A year of bitter tears. A year of isolation. A year where I had to decide to let go of the dreams I was sold/told and finally dream for myself. A year of no longer convincing people to see me. A year of questioning and re-evaluation. A year of both/and.  A year of keeping promises to myself.  A year of intentional gratitude. A year where I finally stood my ground and honored my boundaries. A year of increased vulnerability. A year to reset in preparation for my rebirth.

We’re not patient or gracious enough with ourselves in the midst of grief even though we know it changes and marks us in indelible ways. Like a caterpillar turned butterfly taking flight for the first time, as you emerge from up under the weight of your grief, I pray you appreciate the version of yourself that got you through the darkness of Friday and Saturday and embrace the version leading you to Sunday and beyond.

You are changed and so your life has to change too; may the bloom be glorious!